Wednesday, December 21, 2011

A Week Ago Today

A week ago today was Hudson's cranial vault remodel surgery.

A week ago today I was being tested on a level that is unnatural, terrifying and that shook me to the core. A week ago today I surrendered my baby over to doctors and God and held to my faith tighter than I ever have before. A week ago today... I almost lost the most precious thing in my life, my only son.

Looking back I can't help but revisit those emotions when I think about what we went through. It all happened so fast and was so unthinkable that we couldn't process it all. But looking at today I am so amazed at his progress. We got our baby back! He is learning, playing, laughing and being the same sweet boy he was before. He is struggling with some battle wounds as we all are. But he is making progress!!! Such huge progress. You would not look at Hudson today and think a week ago today he was that same swollen boy in the pictures. I am still adjusting to his new look. I loved my baby before and I love him now. But he does look different and that is a fact. To me its not better or worse just different. We are still in transition with his swelling going down which will take months.

In fact we will not know how successful the surgery was until Hudson is 18 years old. But none of this was ever about looks to us. It was simply to allow room for his brain to grow. Luckily he is the cutest little boy ever and he is just as cute now as he was before and will be a handsome young man later. More importantly he will be allowed to grow into a smart young man with all the opportunities everyone else has.

A week ago today I could not have pictured he would be healing and adjusting so well. I could not possibly have imagined how relieved we would feel to just be able to enjoy our baby. Enjoy our first Christmas! Today I can see my prayers have been answered! I can't ask for anything more and I will allow no less than a bright future for him. Now he has that chance. Thank you God, doctors, family and friends.

Love,
Jen

3 comments:

  1. Yeah!!!! Merry 1st Christmas to Hudson!!!! What an awesome weekend you are going to have!! Shawna

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  2. Winnie the Pooh is right. "You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Hudson isn't the only one changed by this process.

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  3. I found your blog through a FB friend and was reading about your upcoming surgery and my heart went out to you and Hudson. I am SO happy for you all that it all went so well! We have a daughter who was born a month later than Hudson (April 23), and it just feels very real and scary what you are dealing with. All the best to you and Hudson!

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