Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Unconditional Love

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."

The day that I looked into his eyes was the day I discovered what unconditional love means. I feel so blessed to be lucky enough to feel something so real and pure. I would do anything to protect that, to protect him. We are 4 weeks away from surgery and I have realized its time to get strong.

When we first found out about our sons diagnosis we felt very scared, alone and helpless. We had never heard the word craniosynostosis before, we couldn't pronounce it, we didn't know anyone that had ever been through it. Honestly I felt a little ashamed in the beginning and wanted to hide it. I was terrified of the surgery! It hurt me when people found out and started studying his head looking for the imperfection. My whole life I have been aiming for perfection in anything I do (although Im FAR from perfect), I felt like a failure.

Along this journey we have realized we are anything but alone. We are so incredibly overwhelmed by all the love and support from family, friends, strangers ... THANK YOU. Many of you have had a huge impact on how I have gotten this far. I have started to see that maybe this happened so that I can make an impact on craniosynostosis awareness and help other families. I felt we made headway this last Friday at the benefit, Chicks Dig Scars. Thank you so much for coming out, for your donations and most importantly your love and support. It exceeded our expectations and I am so happy to have that memory to take with us to Dallas. We are so incredibly blessed to have such amazing people in our lives!

Several people have said how strong I am. Honestly that always throws me b/c I have been called a lot of things but strong has never been one of them. I have always been the one being taken care of, kind of a scared little girl. But now I have someone who really needs me. Recently I have realized it doesn't matter who you have been in the past, but what you are capable of being. By being strong for him he will find comfort that everything is going to be okay. I am starting to dig deep and be what he needs me to be. I love him so incredibly much I would do anything for him. I now know what loving unconditionally really truly means, being willing to do anything and loving someone no matter what the cost or sacrifice. He is going to make it through this and so will we. This will make all 3 of us stronger. Nothing has ever come easy for Matt and I but it has always been worth the fight. No surprise that this will be the same.

Good thing we are fighters!


  1. That's how I feel about you little bear :) And seeing us ALL be mommies I'm seeing it again. You can make a differnce, and are brave to put on this fight :-) Loves you

  2. This has been your best post yet and I am so proud of you and Matt for all you've done for Hudson, yourselves and the cranio community. What you said about being capable is so true and I'm glad you have found that truth! Good luck in these next few weeks harvesting your inner strength. All our thoughts and prayers are with you :) Love you